Hamburgers
Hamburger Union
Garrick Street
London WC1
I'm afraid I'm going to use this 'review' as a bit of a rant on hamburgers in the UK. I don't mean to single out Hamburger Union, where I ate lunch yesterday, as a sole case of malpractice - a place which has got gleaming reviews from every rag in town must probably and sadly be among the best of a bad bunch.
But the fact is, the British don't know how to do a hamburger. I only now know what's actually wrong with them since I've been in the USA for a year. But both before I left and every time I've been back since, I have eaten hamburgers regularly here (generally of the posh kind as I can't face McDonalds) and they just aren't ever right. I've had them at many a gastropub and Borough Market stall, at the Eagle Diner, which is supposedly the most American of the lot. I think I even had one at Ed's Diner in Soho which looks exactly like an American diner. I can't really remember but I think their's was OK-ish and a little bit more authentic. But basically, y'all's hamburgers suck.
So let's just get a few things straight.
1. A hamburger is meant to be fast food and if you need both hands to eat your hamburger, you have failed. You must be able to eat your hamburger with one hand while driving with the other.
2. It's meant to come with fries. Not fat chips, fries. This is because a hamburger is meant to be a rather juicy kind of thing, so you want the contrast of the crispy fries.
3. A hamburger is not meant to be juicy because it has a huge great hunk of meat in it - remember the one-hand rule, the burger should be pretty flat and not fatter than a half-inch or so. It is juicy because of all the extras. Tomato, pickle (sliced gherkin not Branston), onion, shredded iceberg lettuce, mustard, mayo and ketchup. Y'all get the extras wrong all the time. What I've just listed is called 'all the way'. If you don't want any of these, you are entitled to subtract them but these items should be standard, whether it's a cheeseburger, bacon cheeseburger or my faithful plain ol' hamburger. And there don't need to be any extras on top of this - cucumber, mushrooms, caramelised onions etc just don't fit in. OK, if you are making your hamburgers at home you can do what you want but if you want to do a real beef burger don't give me any of this. And the pickle is REALLY important.
4. A hamburger is also juicy because the bread must be soft and not some dried-up, over-toasted or over-dense fashionable soughdough, ciabatta or wholegrain. Soft, white bread and if you must toast it, only lightly. And the bread shouldn't be floury as the flour gets everywhere and that's bad when you are driving, or when you are eating in a diner in London with your date.
5. Obviously, it should have had an acquaintance with flames. I actually can't remember every seeing an American burger that didn't come off a grill, but they must exist so I'll not be too sure. But charcoal sure does make a hamburger taste better.
So basically, a hamburger is something you shouldn't mess with, especially if you are billing yourself as a diner. Get it right, guys. One hand eating. Fries not chips. Pickle without paying extra. Soft white bread. Easy. They'll never be as good as an American burger but at least they might stave off my junk-food pangs.
The score:
Food: Well, not authentic, obviously. But happy cows and chickens, and their chips aren't frozen, so I'll give them brownie points for effort.
Value: Decent. A hamburger is about a fiver. Pay extra for pickle, damn them.
Atmosphere. Nothing bad or good either way. Clean, modern, fairly busy. A useful place, I suppose, to stop off at and get lunch when you have to be in Covent Garden and when you are pressed for time and money and don't want to eat at an unethical chain.
Drinks: Yes, they have beer alongside their shakes. It's Pilsner Urquell, make you own mind up.
Veggie friendly: Quite. They have fairly good-looking veggie options.
Garrick Street
London WC1
I'm afraid I'm going to use this 'review' as a bit of a rant on hamburgers in the UK. I don't mean to single out Hamburger Union, where I ate lunch yesterday, as a sole case of malpractice - a place which has got gleaming reviews from every rag in town must probably and sadly be among the best of a bad bunch.
But the fact is, the British don't know how to do a hamburger. I only now know what's actually wrong with them since I've been in the USA for a year. But both before I left and every time I've been back since, I have eaten hamburgers regularly here (generally of the posh kind as I can't face McDonalds) and they just aren't ever right. I've had them at many a gastropub and Borough Market stall, at the Eagle Diner, which is supposedly the most American of the lot. I think I even had one at Ed's Diner in Soho which looks exactly like an American diner. I can't really remember but I think their's was OK-ish and a little bit more authentic. But basically, y'all's hamburgers suck.
So let's just get a few things straight.
1. A hamburger is meant to be fast food and if you need both hands to eat your hamburger, you have failed. You must be able to eat your hamburger with one hand while driving with the other.
2. It's meant to come with fries. Not fat chips, fries. This is because a hamburger is meant to be a rather juicy kind of thing, so you want the contrast of the crispy fries.
3. A hamburger is not meant to be juicy because it has a huge great hunk of meat in it - remember the one-hand rule, the burger should be pretty flat and not fatter than a half-inch or so. It is juicy because of all the extras. Tomato, pickle (sliced gherkin not Branston), onion, shredded iceberg lettuce, mustard, mayo and ketchup. Y'all get the extras wrong all the time. What I've just listed is called 'all the way'. If you don't want any of these, you are entitled to subtract them but these items should be standard, whether it's a cheeseburger, bacon cheeseburger or my faithful plain ol' hamburger. And there don't need to be any extras on top of this - cucumber, mushrooms, caramelised onions etc just don't fit in. OK, if you are making your hamburgers at home you can do what you want but if you want to do a real beef burger don't give me any of this. And the pickle is REALLY important.
4. A hamburger is also juicy because the bread must be soft and not some dried-up, over-toasted or over-dense fashionable soughdough, ciabatta or wholegrain. Soft, white bread and if you must toast it, only lightly. And the bread shouldn't be floury as the flour gets everywhere and that's bad when you are driving, or when you are eating in a diner in London with your date.
5. Obviously, it should have had an acquaintance with flames. I actually can't remember every seeing an American burger that didn't come off a grill, but they must exist so I'll not be too sure. But charcoal sure does make a hamburger taste better.
So basically, a hamburger is something you shouldn't mess with, especially if you are billing yourself as a diner. Get it right, guys. One hand eating. Fries not chips. Pickle without paying extra. Soft white bread. Easy. They'll never be as good as an American burger but at least they might stave off my junk-food pangs.
The score:
Food: Well, not authentic, obviously. But happy cows and chickens, and their chips aren't frozen, so I'll give them brownie points for effort.
Value: Decent. A hamburger is about a fiver. Pay extra for pickle, damn them.
Atmosphere. Nothing bad or good either way. Clean, modern, fairly busy. A useful place, I suppose, to stop off at and get lunch when you have to be in Covent Garden and when you are pressed for time and money and don't want to eat at an unethical chain.
Drinks: Yes, they have beer alongside their shakes. It's Pilsner Urquell, make you own mind up.
Veggie friendly: Quite. They have fairly good-looking veggie options.
posted by Hana Loftus at 12:46 PM
1 Comments:
Interesting tips for the burgers!
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